Titles Are for LinkedIn

You spot the smoke first.

Not the fun kind, like “this feature is fire.” The real kind - bug reports, broken things, and Slack suddenly lighting up like a Christmas tree wired by an intern.

You’re not technically responsible. You didn’t break it. But you’re already halfway through calming nerves, sketching out a fix, and pinging the people who should’ve been in the loop an hour ago.

Meanwhile, the person with “Lead” in their title is... still pulling up the incident doc - or checking if it’s in their swimlane - or just being human and overwhelmed.

And you pause for a second, wondering: “Wait, am I leading right now?”

Yeah. You are.

You just haven’t been cc’d on the memo. Probably because it doesn’t exist. Most leadership doesn’t come with ceremony. It comes with clarity and a calendar full of “just checking in” messages.

The Myth That Keeps You Small

Let’s kill this one gently: you do not need a title to lead.

You don’t need permission. You don’t need a promotion. You definitely don’t need another meeting where someone says “thought partner” with a straight face.

What you need is impact. The kind that makes hard things easier, helps people think straighter, and keeps your team from collectively yeeting itself into a full rewrite every six months.

Most engineers delay that kind of leadership because they’re waiting for formal authority. But influence doesn’t flow down from titles - it radiates out from behavior.

So if you’ve been feeling like you’re “almost” leading but don’t quite have the badge to back it up: congrats. You’re already doing the job. Now let’s make it sustainable.

Own the Gray

There’s a special kind of work that shows up after the sprint starts and before anyone admits they’re confused.

It’s the ambiguous, unassigned, “someone should probably figure this out” stuff. It lives in half-documented specs and awkward silences in standups.

That’s the gray. And if you want to lead, that’s where you show up.

You clarify vague priorities. Translate founder-speak into dev-reality. Notice the problem no one wants to touch, then start poking at it until things move.

This kind of work won’t earn you glory. But it will earn you trust. Because every team remembers who helped them get unstuck.

(Related reading: You Can’t Scale If You Touch Everything)

Frame or Be Framed

You don’t have to make every decision. But you can make decisions easier.

Leadership isn’t just about direction. It’s about definition. It’s about saying:

  • “Here’s the trade-off.”
  • “This is the tension we’re holding.”
  • “If we do X, we can’t also do Y.”

You’re not bossing anyone around. You’re giving the problem shape. And when a problem has shape, teams can actually do something about it.

Framing is the unsung superpower of senior engineers. Practice it relentlessly.

Model What’s Missing

Want your team to ask better questions? Ask them yourself.

Wish people stopped sniping in comments? Stop sniping.

Culture isn’t declared - it’s absorbed. And the fastest way to change how a team operates is to show them what “better” looks like. Calm under pressure. Clarity under chaos. Kindness when it’s inconvenient.

Modeling doesn’t make you a saint. It makes you a mirror. And that’s how influence scales.

(See: Say What You Mean Without Being a Jerk)

Be the Router, Not the Rock

You don’t need to be the expert. You just need to know who is.

A lot of leadership is surprisingly social. Connecting dots. Looping people in. Nudging someone with “Hey, I think you should talk to…”

This might feel small. It’s not.

The engineer who helps others talk across team lines is the engineer people come back to when it matters. You become the unofficial map of the organization. And maps are powerful.

Just don’t turn into a gatekeeper. Point the way. Don’t build a toll booth.

Ask Questions That Change the Room

Not clever questions. Not leading questions. Catalytic ones.

The kind that unlock decisions. Disarm egos. Or shift a conversation two degrees - and that two degrees changes everything.

Try:

  • “What are we actually trying to protect here?”
  • “What’s the thing no one wants to say?”
  • “What happens if we do nothing?”

You don’t need all the answers. You just need to ask the one question that gets people unstuck.

Guard the Flow

Leading without authority isn’t about taking over. It’s about keeping momentum.

That might mean summarizing a rambling meeting so people can leave with their dignity. Or noticing when a decision keeps getting deferred and quietly corralling the right people to close the loop.

Or just being the person who says:

“We’ve had this question open in standup for three days - are we blocked, or just afraid to commit?”

Sometimes it’s:

“We don’t have to solve this now - but we do need to decide when we’ll solve it.”

This is flow stewardship. It’s invisible. And it matters more than you think.

(Also: The Best Engineers Don’t Block - They Unblock)

Your Job Is to Make Hard Things Easier

That’s the whole deal. Leadership isn’t about being right. Or being loud. Or being in charge.

It’s about being the one who helps the team breathe easier. Think clearer. Move forward faster.

And if you’re doing that? You’re already leading.

Whether or not anyone’s updated your title.

Final Thought: Influence First. Title Later. Maybe.

Leadership isn’t a level on a ladder. It’s a decision you make - again and again - to show up with clarity, calm, and a low tolerance for dysfunction.

So stop waiting for permission. Start being useful in the ways that matter most.

And if someone eventually slaps a new title on your profile? Great.

Do a little dance in your underpants. (Not at the office.) Then get back to it.