🦥 “Go” Away Already: Why Big Tech Is Slowly Ghosting Golang

Ah, Go — the language that promised to keep things simple, and boy did it deliver. So simple, in fact, that Big Tech is now collectively yawning, stretching, and slowly walking away without making eye contact.

In the 2010s, Go was hailed as the antidote to "enterprisey" bloatware. “No generics!” they cheered. “No magic!” they boasted. “No modern features whatsoever!” And for a brief, beautiful moment, it worked — right until engineers realized they actually wanted to do things.

Now, in 2025, the hype is flatter than Go's type system. Let’s explore the eulogy evolution of Go's decline.

🧠 1. Simplicity That Stops the Moment Things Get Complex
Go is like that friend who’s great at helping you move a chair but disappears when it’s time to assemble IKEA furniture.

Its "simplicity" is a paper-thin shield that breaks the moment your project scales beyond a hello-world microservice. Need rich abstractions? Pattern matching? Useful generics? Sorry. Go wants you to embrace for-loops and hand-craft every generic structure like it’s 1999.

Meanwhile, Rust, Kotlin, and basically every other language on the planet are evolving. Go? Still bragging about “how little there is to learn,” which is ironic because there’s even less to use.

💥 2. Error Handling: A Ritual of Suffering
Nothing screams "modern language" like writing the same if err != nil line 40 times in a file.

Go’s error handling system is a celebration of verbosity and repetition — perfect for teaching interns pain tolerance. In real-world enterprise systems, though, this approach quickly turns into copy-paste purgatory.

Meanwhile, Rust handles errors with elegance and Kotlin lets you throw and catch like it’s civilized. Go? It still thinks you need the full workout of typing everything out manually to "truly understand what's going on."

🔥 3. Concurrency You Can’t Trust
Yes, goroutines were cool — in the same way unguarded chainsaws are cool. At first glance, they seem sleek and efficient. Then you blink and your system is flooded with 10,000 orphaned routines deadlocked in a trench war over a mutex.

Go’s concurrency model is like giving every toddler in the room a pair of scissors and hoping for the best. Rust, meanwhile, brings compile-time guarantees. Even Java — the O.G. enterprise tortoise — has grown up and added safer models.

Go gives you power without accountability. And we know how that ends.

🐢 4. Garbage Collection… in a Real-Time World?
Go’s GC is “optimized,” sure. Just like your 2012 laptop is “still functional.” When you're running latency-sensitive systems like HFT or embedded analytics, a GC pause isn’t just inconvenient — it’s catastrophic.

Rust’s “you control the memory” model isn't just about power. It's about reliability. Go hands the keys to the GC and prays. Big Tech stopped praying years ago.

🤖 5. Developer Joy Is Overrated Anyway
If you ask the Go team, programming joy should come from not having features.

No IDE support to speak of? No rich generics? Limited reflection? Boring, repetitive code? That's not a shortcoming — it's a feature! Go is the Excel of programming languages: simple, powerful-ish, and absolutely exhausting when used at scale.

In the meantime, Rust offers clippy, cargo, and world-class tooling. TypeScript lets you build front-to-back in one flow. Kotlin is like writing in poetry. Go is... a compliance form.

🧱 6. WASM? Web? What Are Those?
WebAssembly? Yeah, Go has a page on it somewhere, buried under 7 layers of build flags. Meanwhile, Rust and TypeScript are practically the royal family of WASM. Google may have invented Go, but it sure looks like they forgot to give it a passport to the future.

🤫 7. Big Tech’s Silent Breakup
Big Tech isn’t yelling at Go — it’s just leaving quietly. Like a bad date you never hear from again.

Cloudflare? Rust.

Dropbox? Rust.

Amazon? Rust.

Google? Funding Rust.

You can still see Go’s toothbrush in the bathroom, but let’s be honest — it’s just a matter of time.

🪦 Final Words: Not Dead, Just Retired Early
Go isn’t dead — it’s just… semi-retired. It’ll always be useful for “small services,” “CLI tools,” and teaching juniors what a null pointer is. But the dream? The glorious future of distributed simplicity?

That dream has a new name: C# & || Rust.

And Go? Go quietly fades into the sunset, clutching its err != nil, proudly simple to the very end.